Not the Messiah

Only the true Messiah would deny his divinity . . . famous scene from Monty Python's The Life of Brian, poking fun at Mark's "Messianic secret" motif. (Content warning: the hermit is naked and there's a swear word near the end.)



For more on the Messianic Secret in Mark's Gospel, listen to episode 27 of the NT Pod.

Full-Size Replica of Noah's Ark Planned!!

Exciting news from Cincinnati! If you haven't yet had the chance to visit the Creation Museum, you will soon have no excuse because you simply will not be able to resist the lure of seeing a replica of Noah's Ark at full biblical proportions!!

From CNN:

The Creation Museum will announce details Wednesday afternoon of its planned expansion.

Answers In Genesis, which built and operates the religious-themed attraction, plans to build a full-scale wooden replica of Noah's Ark based on biblical descriptions.

The $24.5 million project will be constructed by the same team that built the Creation Museum.

The religious ministry is soliciting online donations to help construct the project, which they expect to draw an estimated 1.6 million visitors per year.

Ken Ham, president and CEO of Answers In Genesis, cites poll data showing that an estimated 63 percent of Americans would visit a full-scale replica of Noah's Ark if one were built in the U.S.

As soon as it's built, I'm planning my trip to Cincinnati! Of course, I'm not quite sure what the Ark has to do with a "Creation Museum" but I guess it is a story from Genesis. Maybe next they can build a replica of the Tower of Babel.

DISCLAIMER: Lest you think I'm serious, this post will help you detect the appropriate filter through which to understand my comments.

HT: Agade

Focus . . . What Do YOU See?

Not long ago my wife was browsing the Westminster online bookstore and did a double-take at the logo for the "Learn about God" series published by Christian Focus. Here's a screen shot of what she saw:

Notice anything unusual about this logo? My wife called me over and asked what I thought about it. Of course, I hedged - "I'm not sure...what do YOU see?" - until I was sure we were talking about the same thing. Not sure yet what you're looking at? It's better bigger.

What? You see two stick figures holding hands? Maybe two fencers facing off?

This week she emailed Westminster bookstore to draw their attention to this ambiguous logo. They've since removed it from the website.

Now I can only speculate what the designers at Christian Focus were thinking, but I find it hard to believe that no one ever studied the logo - black against a white background and didn't realize - hey, that looks like . . .

On the other hand, the logo is small and against a colored background on the covers of their books. It doesn't jump out until it's black and white and big.

So far, most of the friends we've polled have immediately seen what we saw. A few didn't see it right away. I guess that explains how they've gotten away with using the logo since this series was published in 2008.

If you still don't see it, look at the outline, not the figures. Oh and I was driving today on a little stretch of road known as Hwy DD. Seriously - double D.

Christmas Gifts for the Bible Scholar in Your Life

Some people are just hard to shop for, especially Bible scholars who often show little interest in any hobbies or activities not related to their research. If you know such a hard-to-shop-for person (like myself), here are some gift ideas.

1. A mug inscribed with the Gezer Calendar inscription from Eisenbrauns.

2. Books are always a good choice, but it has to be the right book. Most of what's in stock at the local Barnes & Noble or Christian book store doesn't cut it. Here are some suggestions (from the list of books I want but don't have.)

• Craig Keener, The Historical Jesus of the Gospels from Eerdmans.

• John Collins, Beyond the Qumran Community from Eerdmans.

• John Sailhamer, The Meaning of the Pentateuch from IVP.

• James Beilby, ed., The Historical Jesus: Five Views from IVP.

• Michael Sokoloff, A Syriac Lexicon from Eisenbrauns/Gorgias.

Karel van der Toorn, Scribal Culture and the Making of the Hebrew Bible (available from Amazon).

3. A tie with a picture of biblical Jerusalem (Amazon)

4. A Levenger Shirt Pocket Briefcase (a personal favorite - I have 2).



5. The Levenger Editor's Desk, a truly great tool for reading and organizing reference books. I received one as a gift several years ago.

6. Book Darts. A must for serious readers.

7. The ever-popular tweed blazer - the hallmark of a true scholar.

Best Creation Story Joke: Sumerians and Genesis 1

Today's headline from the Onion ties in perfectly to the research I've been doing on Genesis 1. Yes, it's a bit sacrilegious, but all good satire is at some level. This brilliant piece highlights how absurd it can be to read Genesis 1 literally side by side with what we've learned from ancient history and anthropology.

"Sumerians Look On In Confusion As Christian God Creates World"

Members of the earth's earliest known civilization, the Sumerians, looked on in shock and confusion some 6,000 years ago as God, the Lord Almighty, created Heaven and Earth.

 According to recently excavated clay tablets inscribed with cuneiform script, thousands of Sumerians—the first humans to establish systems of writing, agriculture, and government—were working on their sophisticated irrigation systems when the Father of All Creation reached down from the ether and blew the divine spirit of life into their thriving civilization.

 "I do not understand," reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. "A booming voice is saying, 'Let there be light,' but there is already light. It is saying, 'Let the earth bring forth grass,' but I am already standing on grass."

 "Everything is here already," the pictograph continues. "We do not need more stars."

 Historians believe that, immediately following the biblical event, Sumerian witnesses returned to the city of Eridu, a bustling metropolis built 1,500 years before God called for the appearance of dry land, to discuss the new development. According to records, Sumerian farmers, priests, and civic administrators were not only befuddled, but also took issue with the face of God moving across the water, saying that He scared away those who were traveling to Mesopotamia to participate in their vast and intricate trade system.

 Moreover, the Sumerians were taken aback by the creation of the same animals and herb-yielding seeds that they had been domesticating and cultivating for hundreds of generations.

 "The Sumerian people must have found God's making of heaven and earth in the middle of their well-established society to be more of an annoyance than anything else," said Paul Helund, ancient history professor at Cornell University. "If what the pictographs indicate are true, His loud voice interrupted their ancient prayer rituals for an entire week."

 According to the cuneiform tablets, Sumerians found God's most puzzling act to be the creation from dust of the first two human beings.

 "These two people made in his image do not know how to communicate, lack skills in both mathematics and farming, and have the intellectual capacity of an infant," one Sumerian philosopher wrote. "They must be the creation of a complete idiot."

New Evidence from Ps 23 for the Divine Council

If you never learn the biblical languages, then your exegesis could always be derailed by a multitude of English homonyms, not to mention real semantic issues like range of meaning. My sense of humor tends toward puns and dry wit, sometimes hilarity ensues, sometimes it elicits groans. Anyway, a random thought occurred to me today in conversation about a shepherd's staff for a nativity costume. I think we can use Psa. 23:4b as proof that God has a divine entourage. Here's my gratuitous translation proving it.

Your club and your staff, they console me.

There you have it, proof of the divine council. God has a staff. Their job is to console. (If you don't get it, remember what I said about homonyms and read it again.)

If you want a much better example of how a literal over-reading of Scripture creates humor, Scott's old post here is one of my all-time favorites.

A Song for Hanukkah!

This is the only Hanukkah tradition I have. So much fun-ukkah . . .

Top "Must-Read" Biblioblogs

The Biblioblog Top 50 site has a "Complete List of Biblioblogs" with 361 entries. I appreciate the work that goes into maintaining such a list, not to mention the monthly ranking (recently cut back to a biannual ranking). Who has the time to check the Alexa ranking on 361 sites? That's a bit unwieldy for anyone to keep track of (for free), but how many of those blogs are really worth following anyway? There's a nice mix of scholars, students, thoughtful amateurs, and outright cranks and dilettantes calling themselves bibliobloggers.

I subscribe to 103 blogs with Google Reader. Thankfully, it seems like 80% or so post very infrequently. I still have 50-100 posts to wade through each day, though. Of course, usually 50 of them are from Jim West alone. I click "Mark All As Read" a lot after skimming the titles.

I have a separate folder grouping the select few biblioblogs that I follow more closely. So here are my top 10 "must-read" biblioblogs based on who's categorized in my "Favorites" folder. These are in alphabetical order, not ranked.

1. Ancient Hebrew Poetry (John Hobbins)

2. Anumma (Brooke Lester)

3. Euangelion (Michael Bird)

4. Exploring Our Matrix (James McGrath)

5. Hesed we 'emet (John Anderson)

6. Higgaion (Chris Heard)

7. NT Blog (Mark Goodacre)

8. Paleojudaica (Jim Davila)

9. Targuman (Chris Brady)

10. Scotteriology (Scott Bailey)

Now lest anyone protest that the #1 biblioblogger didn't make my Top 10, Jim has his own category. He's simply not on the same plane as any of the other 102 blogs I subscribe to. Plus there are another 92 blogs out there which I occasionally read if the title catches my interest. I met many bibliobloggers at SBL and added their feeds recently, too, so maybe my reading habits will change in the coming months. Is it just me or has biblioblogging really taken off in the last year or so?

If you only have time for 11 biblioblogs, follow this one and my 10 favorites. If you have time for 12, follow Jim, too. If you have time for 13, Clayboy is good. If you have time for 14, I like Pat McCullough. If you have time for 15, maybe you'll like Daniel McClellan. If you have time for 16 . . .

Grad Student Guide to Having Fun at SBL

Offering advice and survival tips about SBL has been a popular topic lately, so I thought I’d add my 2 cents worth. As a grad student who’s been attending for several years now, I think I have a good perspective on why going to SBL is important and how you can make the most of your trip. So here’s my advice. Some are serious, some are in jest. It’s up to the reader to discern how best to apply them.

1. Wear comfortable shoes. You’ll be walking around most of the day for 3-4 days straight. It’s important.

2. Try to meet as many people as possible. This is very very easy to do. Either find an experienced guide to show you around and introduce you to all their friends, or strike up conversations with anyone whose name you recognize.

3. Strike up conversations with senior scholars. Act like you know them. See if they play along. So many fawning grad students introduce themselves every year that for all they know, they have met you before.

4. Dress professionally. As a grad student, attending SBL is a multi-year networking effort. Crafting an image is important. The last thing you want an interviewer to randomly remember about you is how poorly dressed you were at SBL several years earlier.

5. Schedule your time, but remember your priorities. People before papers. Use sessions chiefly as a means for meeting people. The important papers will get published later.

6. Remember your place. There is a hierarchy of importance among all the people mingling at SBL. Remember your place on the totem pole or on the food chain or whatever metaphor strikes you.

Sample hierarchy (least to greatest): Security guard at exhibit hall > first year seminary student > support staff at publishers’ booths > seminary students > 1st year university grad students > MA students > PhD students > ABDs > newly minted PhDs w/o tenure track employment > editorial staff at publishers’ booths > junior professors on tenure track > full professors > senior scholars > academic celebrities. (List was revised to separate ABDs from newly minted PhDs. In the interest of full disclosure, I exist in the blank white space in between "PhD student" and "ABD.")

7. Be nice to the staff at the book tables. This is a variation of the “be polite to the receptionist when going to a job interview” rule. You don’t want to have word of your bad behavior spread. Remember, you’re wearing a nametag.

8. Depending where you are in the food chain, the book exhibit staff may not treat you with the same deference you show them. If they won’t sell you the “last” copy (as happened to Pat), feign surprise and exclaim, “Oh no! My advisor sent me in here to buy it for him. You may have heard of him/her - (insert name of senior scholar / academic celebrity here). You’re sure there’s nothing you can do?”

9. Name drop all the time. They don’t know you from Adam, but they will recognize the names of important people that you may or may not have actually met. Your status will increase by association.

10. Pretend that you understand the papers and surrounding discussions on arcane topics. Smile and nod. Remain silent but appear thoughtful. If you must speak, repeat what you’ve heard them saying but do it subtly and in your own words.

11. Interject in every discussion that turns philosophical, theological, or methodological with “yeah, but how will that help me in my ministry?” Repeat in variant forms ad infinitum.

12. Invite yourself to any and all receptions. It helps to know the name of at least one major scholar at each school. At cash bars, ask them to put your selection on the tab of (name senior scholar from institution).

13. Buy books in small quantities over the course of the whole conference. What fun is it in buying everything the first day? Plus it’s a lot easier to carry one or two extra books at a time. Have the publisher’s ship them whenever possible. Are you really going to read 12 books on the plane ride home?

So, there it is. The grad student’s guide to having fun at SBL. I hope you enjoyed it. Remember that some of these suggestions are tongue-in-cheek. Use at your own risk. If you can’t tell which are serious and which are not, don’t risk it. Ignore the whole thing.

P.S. Don’t be afraid to say hi if you see me wandering the halls at the conference. After all, meeting people is what I’m all about at SBL.

Inigo Montoya Addresses Fundamentalists . . .

. . . and cranks, crackpots, and dilettantes of all kinds who think they're biblical scholars because they can read and write.


HT: James McGrath

The Jim West Carnival

Since Jim was snubbed by the most recent Biblical Studies Carnival (even though he's the #1 Biblioblog by some estimations), I thought I'd rectify that with my own Carnival devoted entirely to highlighting the delightfully eclectic mix of content that comes from the blog of Dr Jim West.

Jim's posts seem to fall predictably into a few general categories, and I've used those to organize the carnival.

1.  Things Jim Doesn't Like - oddly for a blogger, they often have to do with technological change - Wikipedia and Twitter, for example.

Osteenism and Warren-ianity (i.e., the Megachurch movement)
Harvard: A Step Behind the Obvious (re:, Twitter)
Twits: 1000 Words +26 (Twitter, again)
Twitter Truth [I wonder if he's read this week's Time yet. Twitter traffic has grown 1300% over a year ago -- How Twitter Will Change the Way We Live]
Maybe There is Something Good About Wiki After All

2.  Total Depravity - news showing how capable of evil humanity really is.

Craigslist: Is it Really Good for Anything At All? (while not tagged Total Depravity - the story qualifies. Read it.)
Total Depravity: The Meth Making Mom and Dad
The Most Horrific Case of Total Depravity

3.  Tracking Crazy Stuff People are Saying about the Bible or Christianity.

Marvin Vining on 'Jesus as the Wicked Priest' (admittedly Jim might take him seriously, but I needed something for this category.)
Archaeological Mis-Speaking
Juicy Dilettantism

4.  Teasing Fellow Bloggers - especially Chris Tilling and James Crossley.

Where in the World are Crossley and Tilling Now?
Where in the World is James Crossley Now?
Where in the World is Chris Tilling Now?

5.  The Pointing Device - drawing attention to substantive research, books, journals, articles or even blog posts on Biblical topics.

Aramaic Resurgence
Thomas Thompson: The Long Awaited Festschrift (admittedly may not qualify as "substantive research" in everyone's eyes but I haven't read it.)
Tregelles Greek New Testament Online
Cargill, Qumran, And Bible & Interpretation

6.  Talking About The News

Chomsky Chews Obama's Cairo Speech
San Diego Comes to Its Senses
Israel's About to Outlaw Free Speech

7.  Too Many Random Observations

You Reap What You Sow
And Speaking of a Failure to Observe
And an 'Observation' I Don't . . .
PETA: Making Anything It Can of Anything It Can

And this is mostly stuff from just the last week or so with a few going back nearly a month just to give a good representation of the category. According to Google Reader, he averages 52.7 posts per week, so that's a lot of ground to cover. Jim has a few other favorite topics like gun control, the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, and Biblical Archaeology Review. The only downside is that he never tells us what he really thinks. He's just too tactful and restrained.

Curse Like a Prophet

If you often find yourself lost for words at just the moment when you need a really good comeback, spend some time with the Biblical Curse Generator.

You'll be pronouncing doom and gloom and cursing like a biblical prophet in no time.

via Jack Sasson / Agade

Humorous Archaeology Search String . . .

"amount of bonuses that archaeologists get"

If you put that phrase in Google, one of my posts will be the second hit because I used archaeology and bonus in the title.

The question is why was someone searching for that phrase and, by doing so, stumbling upon my blog yesterday?

I'm not an archaeologist, but from what I've been told they aren't really in it for the money . . . because the only way to get "bonuses" is to sensationalize your find, turn it into a best selling book, make movies about it, etc.

By then, you're considered a sell-out and not a real archaeologist and scholar anymore anyway.

I just briefly thought of a few examples of archaeologists who have "sold out" by turning tenuous interpretations into popular books, but I've decided it would be more prudent to not name them.

So, if you were considering a career in archaeology because you thought they got a lot of bonuses and were well-compensated for their time and effort, sorry to disappoint.  Go to law school instead.

Biblioblog Top 50 for January

I've finally cracked the Top 50 in N.T. Wrong's January ranking of biblioblogs. Yay for me coming in at #41. I couldn't be more proud.

NT Wrong Unmasked!!

With the quest for Wrong well underway and the naysayers weighing in who refuse to undertake the quest, I thought I'd engage in some idle speculation.

For those who don't recognize the photo, it's David Clines from Sheffield.
And no, I don't really think he's NT Wrong or have any evidence to the effect.

HT: Jim West

If You're Not a Maximalist . . .

Then you must be a . . . minimalist? Apparently, the categories of minimalist and maximalist in Biblical Studies exist in a bi-polar opposition. That is, you must be one or the other. Since I critiqued Anson Rainey's BAR article in my last post and Rainey is clearly a maximalist, then I must be a minimalist. This appears to be the logic used by Jim West to induct me into the quasi-facetious illustrious Guild of Biblical Minimalists. While I appreciate the honor of receiving the attention of the guild, I feel compelled to point out that I will critique all equally, and membership will not restrict me from similarly pointing out the issues, weaknesses, and logical fallacies found in the published work of the other members of the guild, especially the Council of Five. Some of their attempts to venture into Semitic epigraphy have been just as ill conceived and illogical as Rainey's mishmash of archaeology, Bible, and linguistics. You see, I'm a true minimalist . . . questioning everyone and finding everyone else is wrong. No one is safe. Besides, when you have two opposing forces driven by powerful ideological commitments arguing over an issue, you'll often find the truth (i.e., the best probable answer) is somewhere in the middle - unacceptable to each side because it brings in more of the other side than either would like to admit.

Departing for the Nida School

With all this talk of Bible translations (see my last 5 posts, all the comments, the blogs that link to those posts, and all their comments), I've decided the only thing to do is to create a from-scratch translation of the entire Bible myself. To that end, I depart in the morning to be discipled in the art of Translation Studies at the Nida School of Translation Studies for the next two weeks at the San Pellegrino Institute for Translation and Interpretation in Misano Adriatico, Italy.

The goal of the school is to get experts in translation studies talking to experts in Bible translation and biblical languages. Bible translation is a bit of a unique category in translation studies and Bible translators are often blissfully unaware of the new ideas and methods brought in to contemporary translation approaches. The theme of the seminar this year is Cognitive Linguistics, an area I have some interest in.

When I get back, I'll start to work on my Mangum Opus - the Best English Translation Ever Version or BETEV. I predict it will become the new standard in English Bibles with at least 400 years of staying power. Everyone will immediately set aside their TNIV's, their ESV's, their NLT's, and yes, even their KJV's, once they read it.

I may not finish for 20-30 years, though, so be patient.

Anyway, now you'll know where I'll be for the next 2 weeks. I'll try to post my thoughts on the seminar discussions and maybe a few photos of Misano.

The Lingamish Links

I eagerly scanned the list at the prestigious Lingamish links page looking for my name like a freshman hoping beyond hope to have made the cut to the Varsity squad.  My heart sank when I saw that, alas, I hadn't made the list.  I feared perhaps I was guilty of some of the cardinal sins of blogging, but I don't think they apply to my blog, except perhaps for lacking terseness (but Esteban got a free pass on that one).  Or maybe my sidebar is too busy.  This is a blogspot blog after all.

I finally concluded that David Ker must be sore at me for not mentioning Lingamish among my Top Bible Blogs (but I'd only recently added him to my blogroll and haven't read much of it yet).

I'm joking, of course, and I agree (for the most part) with David's assessment of blogging - though not as enthusiastically as Jim West.  I will endeavor to avoid all the pitfalls that David points out (hmm...but I'm blogging about blogging here).

My only consolation is that the majority of the blogs on my blogrolls also didn't make the cut.  For those of you who did, congratulations on such a prestigious honor.  As for me, I'm just happy that Esteban still has me under his "Biblioblogs of Awesomeness."

HT: Jim West

Top Bible Blogs

With so many blogs out there related to the Bible, it would be nice if we had a "Review of Biblioblog Literature." I now have 70 blogs feeding into my Google Reader, and I've updated the blogrolls on this page, adding many that were in my Reader and organizing them roughly by content. A few defy categorization. Here are my ratings of a few Bible blogs, so you know where to start on the blogrolls.

By far the most prolific Biblioblogger would have to be Jim West. Google Reader lists his posting average at almost 50 posts per week. No one else comes close.

The most authoritative Biblioblogger, if you give Technorati authority ratings any weight, is Ben Witherington with 520. Jim West was a close second with 186 187 with John Hobbins from Ancient Hebrew Poetry right behind at 181. James McGrath rates 156. After that most of us drop down to double and single digits.

The most intellectual Bible blog is Ancient Hebrew Poetry. I confirmed this by running the "Blog Readability Test" on several representative biblioblogs. John's blog ranked a Genius reading level. Now this doesn't mean he's the most intelligent blogger. In my subjective opinion, I was debating between him and Charles Halton from Awilum (both very intelligent guys), but Charles's reading level was only Elementary School. I also checked Jim West (Junior High), Chrisendom (High School), and Bible and Ancient Near East (College).

The most humorous bibleblog is unquestionably Scotteriology. Scott Bailey perfectly balances insightful commentary on theological issues with a clear talent for humor writing. If you don't believe me, check out his post about ascending to the fourth heaven.

This is just a sample of my favorite blogs. They come to mind because they post fairly frequently. Feel free to sample others in my blogrolls after you've started with these. I haven't read everything everyone's written, but I've read enough to trust that they usually have solid content that's worth reading. I won't knowingly throw any "crackpots" on the blogroll. Even if I don't agree with all of them, their arguments are usually thoughtful and worth interacting with.

I'd love to follow up this post with a "Worst Bible Blogs" list and link to some of the crazies for you, but I really don't feel like drawing their attention. They tend to avoid using reason and take it personally when they're told that they're wrong.

Strange New Hebrew Inscription Found on Sidewalk

It appears to be some sort of graffiti. Possibly archaizing but showing word order variation and a grammatical mistake that suggest it may be a forgery.

My four year old daughter Emma likes to practice her Hebrew letters now and then. We started reading the book of Ruth in Hebrew last week. She told me what she wanted to write. The phrase doesn't actually occur in Ruth, and now that I look at it, I probably should've used the direct object marker on "Naomi." She thought it was fun anyway. Next up - teaching paleo-Hebrew script.